Last night me and JD paid a visit to an old friend we stay there till 2 am talking about old issues and stuffs. He has two kids a boy and a girl and seems like he's coping up well for an undergrad, Her wife has no work and seems like their still dependent on their parents. Then on a spurt of a moment I spit out something... I told them that I wanted to get married, I wanted to take my life to the next level at that time I feel like that I can have a family of my own. I wasn't thinking of having a kid, it will come. I just want to have someone permanent in my life. Somehow I felt envious about my married friends.

The big question is... to whom? with hon? I broke up with my hon, for the reason that I want to break free from the leash then I wanted to get married... so erratic of me. The answer would be yes with hon, I want to marry her, 6 years and 4 months is not a joke I would never have another long relationship like that. Some people say time is not an issue, probably yes... but still we know each other so well and we're comfortable with each other.

Actually we talk about it before and we used to dream about it, I told her 27 would be the age for me to ask her the "big question". If I have the money right now damn I'll be proposing to her right now even though we're still not ok, but I'm flat broke I'm thinking of selling my car but decided not to, My friends told me it's not a problem we can have a CIVIL wedding and burn less than 50k for it but that's not my dream, that's not our dream. I planned to have a grand wedding it's a once in a lifetime event and I want it to make it very... very... special. I'm thinking of a 300k budget but 2 years from now it may go up to 500k. I'm just an average guy maybe to some people it's just a little. How can I raise that kind of money in 2 years? I'm not planning to loan, never. I don't want to hear people specially my mom nagging about it. And hon has no plans of splitting it between us. She wants me to spend it all.