"Everything works, but nothing works forever"

-IronWorkout.com

Rating my bday from 1 to 10 (1 being the lowest) I'll give it a 6, it went well but not as I planned it to be. It could be the last time that I'll be spending it at home and with two sets of friends under one place. I really don't feel like sharing it here but don't get the idea that I didn't enjoy. Remember, I gave it a 6.

26th of January didn't really work out for me, I spent 1600 for my car aircon repair but bad luck seems coming my way, I have to return it maybe next week for the mechanic to check what's really wrong, probably condenser problem or whatever. I'm more worried about the expenses. I'm so fucked up! I really didn't expect having a car will cost me this much!

I LOVE YOU

I fell in love with you
It was like a dream come true

You chased away my pain & sadness
And replaced it with joy & happiness

I want you to know my love is true
I will forever and always cherish you

We've shared many first times
And we'll have many more to come

I promise I'll never leave
'Cuz you make my life complete

I'm so crazy about you
I don't know what to do

Everytime I look into your eyes
I see a love that never ends

They shine like the stars in the moonlit sky
Shine on me so beautiful and so bright

They're like beams of light
That light up my dark and lonely night

I love everything you say and do
'Cuz who I love... is you

I just want you to know I love you
And nobody will ever love you like I do

I don't care what people say
'Cuz I'm gonna love you anyway

Early gifts from my officemates, thanks guys!

I never taught that planning a birthday party will be to much of a pressure to me, well it's my 25th birthday and I want to spend it with a bang but unfortunately I ain't got dough. I received 50 from my dad but the way dollars is slumping... If it wasn't from my cc debts and my driving accidents (more of a stupidity) I'll be living lavida loca.

I'm supposed to held it on my crib but unfortunately my mom told me she can't cook for some reason, so I told her it's ok I'll just celebrate it somewhere, so I asked a few friends if they know a place somewhere in timog or eastwood that is cheaper. I was still undecided on where will I be spending it then I received I text message from my mom and she told me that she'll prepare foods for my birthday. Whew! mga nanay talaga hindi matiis ang mga anak. So problem solved I'll be spending it on my crib.

"Help me help you and I'll show you the Money!!!"

from the movie Jerry Maguire

BIRTHDAY BOY!

5 days to go before my much awaited Silver Anniversary of longevity on earth. I can't believe that I'm 25 right now I still feel like I just turn 21. If i was just not 40 lbs overweight right now I would look like a fresh grad... honest! There was a meeting at the office and a lady told me that I look just like a kid among them. I was really flattered. Anyway it's going to my birthday on the 26th and I have to have some sort of a birthday wish list.

in random order...

Havaianas "Cartunista" size 41/42 - i like the white one or the green one
Designer Whey Protien Powder - (Chocolate Flavor)

Tuesday With Morrie, 5 People You Meet in Heaven, For One More Day by Mitch Albom

("Must have! this 3 books cost less than a thousand pesos ;)"

- My Friends @ CDI promises to give me all 3... YEEESSS!!!

Being Happy by Andrew Matthews
Slim Fit Polo Shirt
Nike Shirt

Billabong Board Shorts or the brown checkered shorts
Girbaud wallet
Car Mat

I probably be the one to buy some of it... but it would be much appreciated if I can get it as gifts.

... GO..GO..GO shorty it's my birthday and I'm gonna party coz it's my birthday!!! And I don't give a damn coz it's my birthday!!!

One More Chance (2nd Time Around)

"Hate That I Love You"

[Her:]
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

[Me:]
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

[Her:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

[Me:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

[Her:]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

[Me:]
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

[Her:]
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

[Me:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

[Me:]
Yeaahhh... Oohh...

[Her:]
That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)
That's how much I need you (oooh..)
That's how much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

[Her:]
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so.. so...

Well the song said it all.. Love rules it All!!!

"...I just don't understand how God would let us meet, if there is no way for us to be together..."

from the movie City of Angels

Why do I love you when you don’t love me?
And you, longing for me when I don’t
Are we destine to love like this?
At two separate times, At two separate worlds

Why can’t we go living on separate lives?
And allow time to lead us back to each others arms
Maybe someday you’ll find me between your hug
And me, finding you inside my heart

What if that decision is wrong?
And we aren’t really meant for each other
You, giving your life to him and
Me, fooling myself of loving her.

Why can’t I allow you to cry on my shoulders?
Why can’t you permit me to kiss your lips as passionately as I can?
Why do we keep on dancing this stupid dance over and over?
Why? Please tell me why?

It's a rainy Saturday, but it didn't stop me from running. Woke up early put on my running shoes, do a little stretching then off I go. I'm not really on the idea of measuring how far I run but on the fact that I'm burning unwanted fats on my buddy. I decided that it's about time to be conscious again on my physical well being. I started to change my life style by eating less and cutting down on carbo. I stop eating rice, smoking and limiting my self to 3-4 bottles of beer a week and exercising 4 times a week. It's been a week now and I feel good about it. I think I've lost already 3 lbs. during that span of time. My goal for this month is to lose 10 lbs. my current weight today is 157 lbs. and my main goal is to achieve the 120lbs mark. so doing the math it will take me till the end of April hmmm... still got 1 month to flaunt my achievement and enjoy summer. TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!!!!

Saturday is incomplete if your not going out to unwind and have some fun, it's a waste of time to spend the whole day at your house. Enough for the reason that your not outgoing and your resting from a 5-6 day work stop being a couch potato you have all day Sunday to do that. Money is not a problem you got your friends right go figure out how to spend your Saturday.

Last night JD, OC and me have a plan to play billiards at a pool house near our district. On our way to pick up OC we decided to drop at PM thinking he might be available, Luckily he's available. It's my first time at that pool house the place is not that nice but it's cheap. And what makes that place cooler is some of my classmates from high school hang out in there. So I got the chance to see them again after 8 years. It's like a mini reunion for the reason that all of us in there belongs in the same section in my sophomore year (Our Lady of Fatima a.k.a OLF) except PM and Boni. We still call each other by surname and monikers some are lucky coz they were called by their nick names unfortunately for me...

To give you an idea I'll try to name all of them with confidentiality...

BONI - (surname) same as Andres (the Hero) but we try to shortcut to make it cooler
FONDELUGA - (surname) we deleted the last 5 letters and replace it with LUGA... (use common sense on this)
PALIS - (surname) well that's his complete surname, sometime we call him WALIS coz it rhyme and DILAW for the reason that his teeth are all yellowish
TORRESS - (surname) he's a bully magnet back in HS.. We call him ABNOY coz he act and look like one. peace bro! you've improve in fairness.
SEDEño - (surname) we use to tease/call him BACKLA back in HS.
OC - we used to call him by his surname and sometimes BABA because its long...
JD and PM - Lucky ones coz we call them by their names.

And ME??? hahah go figure! Oh well... to give justice for the people here they call me ESPADODI or DODI... If you happen to know B1 and B2 "the 2 stupid sagings" in their sleepwear you'll get the idea. Freshmen to Senior year I was called that way. Hahahaha! but it's all good I rarely see them and my barkada calls me J just the way I like it simple.

... Like my ex offismate says CHILAX! (chill and relax)

"I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go."

- Anonymous

Heartbreaker 101

A friend of mine sent me an email that might help me cope up on what I'm going thru right now. The email is regarding how to move on after breaking someones heart. I feel the erg of posting the article here it might also help someone who's with the same situation with me.

See my comments (Italics) ;)

How to Heal and Move On After Breaking Someones Heart

By Lisa Steadman, The Relationship Journalist

Given the choice, most people say they would much rather break up with someone than get broken up with. But if you've recently initiated a breakup, you know how tough it can be.
Just because you summoned the courage to end your dead-end relationship doesn't mean you're not feeling a little heartache yourself (or experiencing some guilt for causing your ex heartache). But fear not, my brave friend. You are not alone. Following are some do's and don'ts that should make moving on that much easier.

Don't: Call, email, text or visit your ex in a moment of weakness
"Even though you brought on the breakup, there may still be times when you miss your ex.
Even though you brought on the breakup, there may still be times when you miss your ex." A song might come on the radio that reminds you of them. Something funny will happen and you'll want to share it. Or maybe you're just having a bad day and want to reach out and reconnect.
STOP RIGHT THERE. Missing your ex is one thing. Contacting your ex is a no-no. In fact, reconnecting with your ex is the absolute worst thing you can do right now. So before you have that moment of weakness, remove your ex's number from your cell phone, delete their email address, and take them off your social networking contacts. (Right now.)

My say: Error #1 I reconnect with her specially times when I felt alone... I knew someone who didn't delete his ex number but destroy her sim card... well I think it's the right thing to do but it's been my number for 4-5 years now.

Do: Ask friends for help
Because you initiated the breakup, your friends may not know that you're hurting. But if you are, it's important to ask for help, a.k.a. recruit your Boo-Hoo Crew. You'll want to choose a least three friends who know you well enough to know when you need comfort versus when you need a kick in the pants.
Your Boo-Hoo Crew should always know (and be able to remind you) why your ex wasn't good for you
Your Boo-Hoo Crew should always know (and be able to remind you) why your ex wasn't good for you then, and why they're definitely not worth pining over now.

My Say: I got 3 set of friends, Our friends which couldn't be bias, they are basically neutral when it comes to us. My high school friends which i can't understand sometimes they felt sorry for the 6 years lost. Since they are all boys and pros when it comes to the cheating side they told me that why do I need to break up with her "if pwede namang tumakas" I'm not really that type I couldn't lie no more to her I don't want to pile up sins after sins after sins... it's just not me. And my friendly friends they are the potential Boo-Hoo Crew which I usually share my love stories with...

Don't: Second-guess your decision
After a breakup, it's all too easy to second-guess yourself and your choices. Did I do the right thing? Should I have given him/her another chance? Maybe there was more I could do to make it work... The truth is, you can make yourself crazy second-guessing your decision. But what's done is done. You had your reasons, made your decision, and now it's time to accept and move on.

My Say: Why am I so fickle?... I made the decision I should stick to it right? And what so ironic about it is I used to listen to the song WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN - "I’m ready this time I know that I’m No longer undecided Don’t wanna be a fool wondering What might have been" Maybe I should read lesson #1 again and again till my brain gets numb.

Do: See your breakup for what it really is
You may not know it right now, but in ending your relationship with the wrong person, you're paving the way to meet the right one. Chances are good that you won't meet Mr. or Ms. Right overnight, but that doesn't mean the breakup was a bad decision.
By walking away from that wrong relationship, you're headed towards a life that's more honest and authentic for you.
By walking away from that wrong relationship, you're headed towards a life that's more honest and authentic for you. What better way to eventually attract your perfect partner than by living and loving your own life?

My Say: This is my favorite part. "Attracting someone by living and loving myself" Yes! I've been hiding inside myself lately, the next time I love no more lies, no more pretending.. I'm not gonna let someone stop me from doing what I want again for some selfish reasons and I'm gonna make sure she'll trust me 101%.

Don't: Badmouth your ex
In the aftermath of a breakup it's all too easy to badmouth your ex, spilling their dirty little secrets to anyone who will listen. Don't do it. Badmouthing your ex may feel good momentarily, but the fallout from those harmless snarky comments can be detrimental to your healing process, not to mention your dating future. Breakup karma is a bitch you don't want coming after you, so zip the lip and move on with dignity.

My Say: What I'm telling my friends are true, though majority of it is on my side but I make sure that my ex wouldn't look bad to them. I always say to them that I there is always sides on every story. It's just my side their listening into but maybe my ex side is much more rational than mine... It's the matter of who's side are you...

Do: Become a breakup rock star
And speaking of moving on, did you know that you can not only survive your breakup but actually thrive? By applying the lessons you learned from your last relationship, and refining what you want out of life and eventually from your perfect partner, you have the chance to reclaim yourself and become the ultimate breakup rock star. So go ahead, rock on!

My say: LET'S ROCK & ROLL!!!

Check your Feng Shui Horoscope for 2008

I got this chain email from a friend about a spreadsheet generated crap telling you about your self and what's going to be your future this year. Well I have nothing to lose anyway and besides it's just for fun.

It order me to put my name, fav color, fave number, etc...

After that I got a result...

"Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it."

"15", This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

You like adventure. You are spontaneous and like to please people

My Soul is relaxed and laid back - being a happy-go-lucky care free person, yes i can say so
Lot's of love and friends - lot of love? maybe... family, relatives.. friends? yah I got a lot and so happy with them and I'm planning to make new ones this year.
Year will go very well - I'll leave it to God on this one.
Fall in love with someone unexpected - hmmm... who could that be? let's just wait and see...
Anonymous Friend - I will have? so that means he/she will soon exist in my life. I hope it's a lady friend

"15" - Good thing my favorite number is not 1.. hahahah

Adventure - i like adventure but not those extreme ones

Spontaneous - lately I've notice that i'm becoming impulsive it started after the break-up

Pleasing People - uha, I think that's what I'm good at... sometimes they misunderstood me as a flirt, I just like being around with people specially close ones.

Then after that I have to send it to 5 people in order for my wish to come true... hmmm... so i send it to 10 people to be sure and crossing my fingers on it.

.... I wanna meet my Miss Anonymous

"Starbucks westlife after a late night gimik"

Me: what are you thinking right now? ayaw mo pa ba?
Her: Ayaw kong pag usapan yan.
Me: how about on my birthday?
Her: ... (little shook from her head)
Me: So kelan? pag balik mo?
Her: OO ...
Me:. ... (can't think of anything good to say)
......::: DEAD AIR :::......

Her: Let's go I'm sleepy na..

Last night me and JD paid a visit to an old friend we stay there till 2 am talking about old issues and stuffs. He has two kids a boy and a girl and seems like he's coping up well for an undergrad, Her wife has no work and seems like their still dependent on their parents. Then on a spurt of a moment I spit out something... I told them that I wanted to get married, I wanted to take my life to the next level at that time I feel like that I can have a family of my own. I wasn't thinking of having a kid, it will come. I just want to have someone permanent in my life. Somehow I felt envious about my married friends.

The big question is... to whom? with hon? I broke up with my hon, for the reason that I want to break free from the leash then I wanted to get married... so erratic of me. The answer would be yes with hon, I want to marry her, 6 years and 4 months is not a joke I would never have another long relationship like that. Some people say time is not an issue, probably yes... but still we know each other so well and we're comfortable with each other.

Actually we talk about it before and we used to dream about it, I told her 27 would be the age for me to ask her the "big question". If I have the money right now damn I'll be proposing to her right now even though we're still not ok, but I'm flat broke I'm thinking of selling my car but decided not to, My friends told me it's not a problem we can have a CIVIL wedding and burn less than 50k for it but that's not my dream, that's not our dream. I planned to have a grand wedding it's a once in a lifetime event and I want it to make it very... very... special. I'm thinking of a 300k budget but 2 years from now it may go up to 500k. I'm just an average guy maybe to some people it's just a little. How can I raise that kind of money in 2 years? I'm not planning to loan, never. I don't want to hear people specially my mom nagging about it. And hon has no plans of splitting it between us. She wants me to spend it all.

Back to reality again, back again to my routine of house - work - house. I was out for 10 days and I didn't expect that nobody will mind cleaning my work table. My cube was dusty and I have no choice but to clean it, well it's a good start. I got tons of task to do, task that I don't bother doing last month due to my anticipation of my long vacation. Now no more reasons to be stubborn, to be in no mood to work it's going to be work mode all the way till summer.

About my vacation it was great a time well spent with my family and specially my friends. We went out a lot dinner, drinking... I got two set of friends my high school and my college friends my C friends are the more consistent ones we used to see each other 2x / 3x a month they are the solid ones we've been together for 7 years now and still going where we wanted it to be... "Strong". Me and my HS friends don't bond a lot ever since we went to college. We're all boys and they all got issues. Everybody has their own alibis whenever we planned to have a get together. J and R are the only consistent ones. The 3 of us are usually together since R is my neighbor and J is about a few km away from us. But it's all good.

... This is my month, this is my year!