BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

It's been 2 weeks now since I ended my 6 year relationship with Jhen. It's hard but i really wanted and needed it. I was on a leash for so long and it's about time to break free from it. We talked about it and as usual knowing Jhen she won't understand the way I feel, she always feels like she's the one hurting more, but actually both of us are hurting. I needed to be free, I want the freedom of going out with my guy friends with out the worry of reasoning out to her why I needed to go out with them. What I did is hard for her but it's the only way for us to grow and discover more of ourselves what we are capable to do without each other. If I'm not going to end it both of us will suffer, I'll be keeping it for the rest of my life. What if we got married? I'll always crave for that freedom and it will end up on more and more lies. I don't want that to happen. I love her so much but it's too much and we need this to learn and grow. I want her back but it's still too early and nothing has change yet.